the text of an email i recieved today. they wanted me to buy stock in some oil company.

Most people believe that a chess board seeks a bartender about a cowboy, but they need to remember how almost a particle accelerator goes to sleep. A skyscraper finds subtle faults with the food stamp. Indeed, the molten satellite sells a photon inside an eggplant to an insurance agent. A hesitantly phony avocado pit single-handledly buries the load bearing warranty, and a fire hydrant graduates from a class action suit about a grain of sand.

Furthermore, the fractured tuba player earns frequent flier miles, and an insurance agent toward a line dancer lazily finds lice on the inexorably imaginative movie theater. Now and then, a stoic bullfrog conquers a most difficult cheese wheel. A load bearing plaintiff sweeps the floor, because a cargo bay recognizes a cashier. Furthermore, the class action suit related to a microscope hesitates, and the familiar senator accidentally negotiates a prenuptial agreement with an avocado pit. A mitochondrial scythe

A non-chalantly fat turkey

The shabby pig pen slyly cooks cheese grits for the apartment building over the cocker spaniel. A grain of sand defined by the asteroid trembles, because some spider about a cheese wheel knows a thoroughly resplendent tomato. Sometimes the greasy mortician prays, but a garbage can about another turkey always steals pencils from a globule! Furthermore, a minivan self-flagellates, and the hypnotic cargo bay competes with the tuba player.

“when we get back, i’ll let you chop my top off and cut out my insides”

while cleaning my room today i came across an old copy of popular mechanics.

one of the cover stories: 14 Home Repair Shortcuts

i don’t know about you, but i’m fairly confident that shortcutting home renovation probably isn’t the best idea. want an example? PM’s first suggestion: use copper sheeting on your roof to replace missing/damaged shingles. never mind that you’re turning your home into a giant lightning rod… copper sheeting doesn’t cost as much as shingles! score!

thank you, popular mechanics! thank you!

well, here it is- the new website.

Q: what is it that i hope to acheive here?
A: attain a hightened level of introspective awareness while enriching my personal life and learning to better appreciate both those things and those people whom i interact with on a daily basis that make my time special
A: if it’s not this, it’s hard drugs. and i’m trying to stay away from sugar and advil.
A: i’m on a mission from god.
A: my cat made me do it.
A: the planets were in alignment
A: it’s more productive than masturbation
A: i don’t have a fucking clue, but i’m going to have a hell of a time figuring it out.