it’s kind of a big deal.

Person 1: Do you have any thing from Diesel?
Person 2: I have a pair of pants from Diesel!
Person 3: I have a pair of shoes from there…
Person 4: I pulled up to the diesel pump at the gas station once.

^

i would have broken up with pretty much any girl i’ve ever dated for you if you had just asked.

but you didn’t, and here we are leading entirely separate lives.

looking back, there were limitless times where we could have redefined our relationship but didn’t. i don’t know what your reasons were, but mine were pretty simple: you were an amazing friend and i loved spending time with you. accordingly, i didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize our friendship. now, though, we hardly talk. i don’t even know what is going on in your life anymore. in hindsight, we really didn’t have anything to lose since we’re bust now anyways and we never even tried.

i think we werre both pussies. i’m probably a bigger one than you were, though, if that’s any consolation.

i just felt the urge to get that off my chest. it’s one thing to think something and another to say it out loud. i feel much better now.

this must be what giving up a dream for reality feels like. reality is pretty fucking sweet, though.

“There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn’t come because you MURDERED HIM. All your other friends couldn’t come either because you don’t have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. Unlikable, it says so here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. SHALL. NOT. BE. MOURNED. That’s exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you’re adopted, so that’s funny too.”

-GladDOS

now you’re just being silly

Dear Gary,

Thank you for being a nice old man and helping me take care of my nuts.

Sincerely,
Me

i hate being fawned over.

i hate being fawned over because it makes me feel guilty about how unattached i stay.